Soames sings the Beatles: "Can't buy me love, can't buy me lo-ove...Money can't buy me love..."

Broadcast April 14, 2002

Old Aunt Ann has died and the family has gathered for her funeral. As they are leaving, Soames asks Bosinney to view a plot of land at Robin Hill with him as he’s thinking of building, because "London’s not good for Irene," but not to tell anyone yet, particularly not Irene.

Leaving the funeral with sardonic cousin George, Dartie taps him for a loan, obviously desperate to obtain some ready cash. Later, he is seen rifling through Winifred’s bureau drawers and taking out the pearl choker he gave her when Imogen was born. Winifred enters the room and catches him with the choker, but assumes he was being sentimental about it. Later still, bailiffs come to Green Street seeking goods to the value of 100 guineas to settle Dartie’s debt, which he later confesses was for the pearls. Winifred and James, who has been called round to sort out matters, are furious and can’t be mollified by a not entirely repentant Dartie.

At the wake, Emily asks Soames whether Irene is well, as she looks pale and melancholic. He complains that the only thing that seems to make Irene smile is June. James and Old Jolyon discuss the latter’s estranged son; Old Jolyon dislikes gossip about this subject and makes this clear to James.

A week later, Old Jolyon seeks out his son at his club. There appear to be no hard feelings, and Young Jolyon (YJ) is interested to hear about June and her engagement. When Old Jolyon attempts to give his son a generous cheque, YJ refuses it but says that he would be happy for the money to be invested for his children, Jolly and Holly. Old Jolyon cements the rapprochement by visiting YJ and his family at home. The grandchildren are open and affectionate with him but Helene still harbours a grudge over the estrangement that has kept them in relative poverty for so many years, and isn’t appeased much when she hears that Old Jolyon has been doing his bit to help them by purchasing YJ’s pictures. Old Jolyon confesses that he is lonely.

June is delighted about Bosinney’s commission from Soames to build a house at Robin Hill, as she thinks this means they can now have a spring wedding. She later discusses this with her grandfather, who teases Bosinney that it is always the women who want to set the date; Bosinney is uncomfortable, this remark being possibly too close to the truth. Whilst driving in the park, Bosinney informs June that Soames had asked him to keep the commission a secret from Irene; June responds that he didn’t promise that she wouldn’t tell Irene. A few days later they happen across Irene walking in the park. June congratulates her on her new house in the country; Irene is taken aback but puts on a good face for the excited young couple.

At tea with his parents Soames explains that he has engaged Bosinney because he thinks that since he is keen for work he’ll be malleable. Soames thinks living in the country will be better for Irene, will get her away from bad influences, and that the decorations will appeal to her artistic side. His mother then asks, "Will this stop her asking for a separate room?" That evening Soames challenges Irene about this comment and wonders how his parents knew. He then answers his own question by saying that he knows how this came about: Irene told June, who then spread it all over London, and he finishes by saying that he will not have such behaviour. When he then tells Irene about the house, she confesses she had already heard about it from June and says that she doesn’t want to move to the country as she will be bored and entirely alone. Soames says that may be the case at first, but that they must hope for children one day. Irene excuses herself; Soames is then seen purposefully ascending the stairs to bed. He goes into Irene’s room, where she is dismayed to see him. He insists she accompany him to their room.

The next day Bosinney calls round to Montpelier Square to discuss the plans with Soames. Irene greets him, as Soames is still dressing. Bosinney expresses regret that he is building a house that she doesn’t want to live in but reassures her that "beauty and proportion" will be his guiding principles. The sexual tension between them is palpable and Bosinney finally gives into it and kisses Irene, who moves away--but doesn’t recoil in horror. Soames then appears and is pleased and excited about the plans, although he is adamant that the budget mustn’t exceed £8,000. Bosinney says the house can’t be done for less than £8,500. Soames concedes. Once Bosinney has left, Soames enthuses about him being "quite a find of mine" and says she should encourage him. He also asks if Irene thinks he’s good-looking. She replies, facing away from him and walking out of the room, "Yes, very."

A couple of weeks/months later, the house is progressing. Soames visits the site and is pleased with progress, although nitpicking on small matters and very unhappy that the budget has climbed to £9,200. Bosinney exclaims that Soames wants a "first-rate man for a fourth-rate fee"; Soames lets the matter drop, enchanted by the building and its position.

June, however, is much less enchanted with the project since she never sees Bosinney as a result. She complains about this to Irene, who is not wholly sympathetic, although she does say that she does not see Bosinney much either and adds that this time will pass. They both feel uneasy that they are quarrelling over this and June later confesses to her grandfather that the quarrel was caused by Bosinney’s behaviour, not Irene’s.

June and Bosinney have dinner at Montpelier Square. Things don’t start well when June overhears Bosinney invite Irene down for a visit to Robin Hill on Sunday and tries to be included in the trip, but Irene says she can’t go as she is due to go for a drive with Uncle Swithin (another brother of James and Old Jolyon). Dinner is awkward, as Bosinney and Irene cannot keep their eyes off each other and June becomes increasingly agitated. She insists on leaving immediately after pudding, to Bosinney’s displeasure and Soames’ amusement. In the carriage home June tries to apologise and asks if she can "be nice" to Bosinney at his rooms on Sunday. He puts her off, saying he has an engagement, although he doesn’t specify what it is.

On Sunday Irene does take a drive with Swithin, after trying to cancel the engagement as she doesn’t think it appropriate, but Soames insists she does not disappoint his uncle, this being "one wifely duty you can surely fulfil." Swithin suggests Richmond Park, but Irene asks if they can go to Robin Hill, as she hasn’t seen the house yet. Bosinney is delighted to see her and enthusiastically shows them round the house. Whilst Swithin dozes on the terrace, Bosinney and Irene wander off together into the woods, where they kiss passionately and Bosinney declares his love. Swithin notices them sloping off together and is grumpy with Irene as they set off home.

June is listless and unhappy. She goes round to Bosinney’s rooms but he is out. She then spots him across the street but he merely raises his hat to her and walks on. Old Jolyon confesses his worries about June to her father, YJ, who asks if there is someone else. Old Jolyon says there are rumours about Irene and asks if YJ will have a word with Bosinney. YJ refuses, on the grounds that he lacks moral authority in these matters in the light of his own conduct.

Emily probes Irene about her marriage at tea in the garden at Montpelier Square. Emily is gentle and sympathetic, admitting that Soames isn’t perfect but that surely some of the fault is Irene’s and wondering if she couldn’t do something. Irene states that she doesn’t want to make things better. Emily is also sympathetic about the trials of "a certain close area" of marriage but says that children make it worth it. Irene is horrified by the idea of children and runs off in tears.

Soames visits the new house again, meeting Bosinney leaving. Bosinney hands in his notice but Soames argues that he had agreed to do the decorating. Bosinney says he will only do this if he has a free hand; Soames agrees, provided the cost stays below £12,000. Bosinney rails at this and Soames, exasperated, states that £50 either way will not cause a difficulty and agrees to put this in writing.

There is a ball which the whole family are due to attend. June, who stated she wasn’t going, changes her mind at the last minute and persuades her grandfather to accompany her. Bosinney is already at the ball, watching Irene being pawed round the dancefloor by Dartie. When Dartie pursues Irene into the garden, Bosinney steps in, causing Dartie to mutter that Soames should keep an eye on his wife as he goes back inside. In the garden Bosinney again states he loves Irene and doesn’t want June. Irene and he go back inside hand-in-hand, in full view of Soames, who must watch from the sidelines as they whirl round to Strauss. June enters the room as they are dancing, and watches them in horror before fleeing the room.

In the carriage home Irene asks Soames to set her free, as he agreed when she accepted his marriage proposal. Soames is furious and turns on Irene, exclaiming that he should give her a good beating. When she tries to get out of the moving carriage he is overcome with remorse and begs for forgiveness. At home, Soames tries to enter their bedroom, only to discover that Irene has locked the door, He alternately hammers on the door and pleads softly to be let in. Eventually, defeated, he gives in and goes to the spare room alone.

• Without condoning the occasions he revealed his violent side, it seems obvious what's driving his frustration. He's incredibly selfish and old fashioned, incapable of empathy and Irene gives the impression of being cold, manipulative and conniving. His thundering on the bedroom door was alternately scary and pathetic, but despite all the shouting, when he lent his head against the door and pleaded softly to be let in, we couldn't stop our hearts melting.

• Irene's unrestrained joy at dancing with Bosinney--and deliberately seizing his hand as they walk past Soames in the hallway back into the ballroom. Yes, Soames is domineering and overbearing and totally and utterly repressed, but it’s obvious he loves her, in his own, entirely buttoned-up fashion, and he doesn't deserve to be so publicly humiliated. Hear hear.

• The fight in the carriage home was genuinely disturbing--when Soames apologises for having said that a good beating would sort Irene out then he immediately regrets his actions, strokes her neck, rests his head on her shoulder briefly and you can't believe he's all bad after all. Sigh. We would have forgiven him.

• The very last scene, after Soames has been unsuccessfully pleading to be let into Irene's bedroom, and then enters the dark spare bedroom. He stares disconsolately at the empty bed, and then sinks down on to it, managing to look crestfallen, guilty, confused and hurt all at once. Our hearts broke for him.

2. The "Green With Envy" Awards Over Gina McKee's Wardrobe:

• Has nothing to do with anything ginger, but a lot to do with how beautiful she looked embarking on the buggy ride with Uncle Swithin.

• "That" red ball dress (chosen deliberately to clash with ginger? Or maybe Lorena is just too cynical for her own good) she wore at the ball…she looked amazing.

3. Favourite Line:

• As June storms out after supper, where Bosinney has been staring lustfully at Irene. Bosinney reluctantly follows her, and Soames utters a sarcastic "Good luck!" with a cigarette dangling from his lips. So utterly cool.

• Soames' description of Irene as a "flibbertygibbet"--not that anyone so lacking in warmth deserves five syllables!

• Soames' anguished "Why can't you look at me like you look at him?" to Irene in the carriage after the infamous dancing scene.

• Bosinney describing Soames being secretly pleased about the plans for the new house…. "In Soames' eyes a light in spite of himself" … not for long, matey.

4. This Week We Were Mostly Laughing At:

• Bar: Soames shovelling in his food--did his nanny not teach him to take smaller bites? Also, at the aunt's funeral where his social inadequacies were cringingly obvious, his family were joking that he looked like one of the undertakers. He did, too.

• Lorena: Despite many gorgeous outfits (see "Green With Envy" above) the inexpressiveness of Irene throughout. She looked liked she'd been slapped with a wet fish and not allowed to wash her face afterwards …. Oooo….or maybe that's the green-eyed monster creeping in again…

5. Best Silent Acting From Damian:

• When he's telling his parents that he and Irene are going to live in the country because town's not good for her... his face softened a lot talking to his parents and it's obvious he loves Irene. Yes, he wants her away from June, but we do think he believes it’s in Irene's best interests......then his mother questions him "Will [moving to the country] stop her asking for separate bedrooms?" Everything stops. Damian's face turns from smiling to granite in a split second. Amazing.

• The look of utter despair as he enters the spare bedroom after being refused entry into his own room by Irene…(see above)…practically every emotion in the spectrum passed over his face.

6. Most Menacing Moment (Lots to Choose From):

• The scene early on when Soames is telling Irene that they're moving to the country due to June being a bad influence and he won't have his marriage being gossiped about... The bit just after Irene confesses that she'd already heard from June--he got this slight quirk of his eyebrows and mouth and you knew that he was thinking "Case closed." At that point, Sarah really lost patience with Irene--she wouldn't have told him she'd found out from June straight after his criticism of her--stupid woman!

• That now-recurring shot of Soames stealthily ascending the stairs behind Irene, just after the above scene and their conversation about children being a comfort, with a ramrod-straight back and arms firmly glued to his side... and then the door clicked shut.  Brrrr!

Screencaps by Bar.   Dartie, YJ, and Soames/irene photos courtesy of HURSTblondie.  Bosinney/June, Irene/June, and Bosinney photos courtesy of Granada Television.